David Beckham will not be kicking for your favorite NFL team

Let’s not put too much into a UK paper’s report about the soccer star’s ‘American football’ interest.

Imagine the media circus that was the Tim Tebow experiment with the New York Jets last season. Now picture that, except double it with an increased number of international reporters trying to attend practices, press conferences and generally disrupting other day to day activities during an NFL training camp. Even better, visualize this whole scene going down because a team decided they wanted to take a shot on a 38-year-old British former professional soccer player who has never kicked an American football in competition.

U.K. newspaper The Mirror reports that an anonymous “NFL franchise scout” contacted David Beckham sometime after the 2012 MLS Cup to gauge his interest in trying out as a “star kicker” due to his ability to yes, bend kicks like Beckham. While a tryout might make for a good Adidas spot (it actually already somewhat did), there’s no way that a guy who made a reported $42 million in endorsements last year and hangs out with Tom Cruise is going to head to the U.S. to make $500,000 while trying to unseat guys like Shaun Suisham. And there’s no way that any NFL team would bother irritating its entire coaching staff and roster over a kicker, even if he is one of the world’s most marketable athletes.

Even if Beckham somehow possesses the magical ability to make 70-yard field goals at a regular clip, there’s less of a chance of the global soccer icon becoming an NFL kicker than a 62-year-old Tony Danza getting a real life tryout with the Eagles based on his role in the 1998 made for TV classic The Garbage Picking Field Goal Kicking Philadelphia Phenomenon.